someone: Lost & Found, someone left a Men’s stainless steel TAG watch here.
me: If it has number 1-12 on it, then it’s likely mine.
someone: It’s not yours ….. It doesn’t have 1-12 on it. HA!
me: If it has number I – XII on it, then it’s likely mine.
someone: NOPE…Try Again…
me: If it has numbers 1, 10, 11, 100, 101, 110, 111, 1000, 1001, 1010, 1011, and 1100 on it, then it’s likely mine.
someone: silly question
me: Fire away
someone: Is anyone monitoring what anyone says/chats on Facebook or anything like that?
me: no.
someone: Do we even have that capability in place?
me: It is technically feasible.
me: Feasible at the drop of a hat, no.
someone: Ok, good to know.
someone: Just now and again I have some admirers say some probably not safe for work things to me on Facebook
someone: Just wanted to be sure that would not end up on some database somewhere.
me: Yea it does end up on a database somewhere…. called Facebook
someone: LOL
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You have been connected to representative.
representative: Hi! I’ll be happy to help you today!
me: I need to know which of my accounts are being used. Not which one are being billed, but which ones have usage.
representative: Only our Account Services department has access to that information; if you are the account holder, you can reach them by phone at xxx-xxx-xxxx M-F from 6am PST – 8pm PST. They’ll be happy to assist you with your inquiry.
me: Where would I log a complaint about this chat service being useless?
representative: I do apologize you feel our chat service is useless. Is there anything I can assist you with?
me: Well, “useless”, ergo, no.
bearded wonder: Are eggs ok to cook if they’re a bit frozen?
me: I would suggest waiting for them to thaw
me: You may end up with weirdness in the cooking process…
bearded wonder: shit, I cracked one and an egg slushy fell out.
me: …unless you’re planning to scramble/omelet
bearded wonder: It will be an omelet.
me: This begs the question….
me: Why are your eggs frozen?
me: Are you doing invitro fertilization of poultry?
bearded wonder: LOL
bearded wonder: Just bought them from Trader Joes
bearded wonder: guess the fridge is too cold
bearded wonder: or
bearded wonder: they just came out of the truck
me: I would take them back.
me: Most eggs come out of a chicken.
me: I don’t know how good a truck-egg-omelet is going to be.
bearded wonder: The taxes scramble ahhh
me: Taxes scramble?
bearded wonder: Yeah, I meat with tax man in a couple hours.
bearded wonder: I sausage the landlord afterwards.
me: How much of a steak do you have in the meating?
bearded wonder: Well done.
me: It’s rare.
bearded wonder: I’ve been smoked.
me: Well that’s mutton new.
I do have to say, being in the office hours before anyone else gets here is slightly creepy.
What-was-that-noise?
Note to self: Make sure not to loan out the USB drive named “cocksucker”
someone: The USB cable on that other hard drive sucks. This one, you can feel the tightness of.
me: That’s what she said.
So apparently when asked at work to investigate why the system shows that there is “Negative Inventory” nobody finds it as funny as I do to mention that maybe it’s just positive inventory moving backwards in time.
