I suggest we change the word Dyslexia into a palindrome, to reduce confusion.
someone: I’m taking a break to look at wedding dresses. Quite frankly, they suck.
me: Getting married?
someone: Yep.
me: Me too.
someone: So what kind of suit are you wearing?
me: Preferably a tux.
me: With tails,
me: a sword,
me: two dragons,
me: and a pro wrestler.
someone: I can’t get away with a sword.
someone: I also have been told not to dress like Lydia during the wedding scene in Beetlejuice.
me: By who?
me: Who’s wedding is it?
me: Isn’t it YOUR wedding?
someone: Well, the groom said no because he didn’t want to dress up like Beetlejuice. I told him that he didn’t have to.
someone: Oh - and no ninjas. I’ve asked.
me: That sucks.
me: Ninjas are underrated.
someone: I know! Ninjas are great!
Once again I find myself magically humming the theme song from the old cartoon, “He-Man and the Masters of the Universe”
How does this happen?
So today this video was being sent around the office. I remember hearing this on the radio years ago. When the CEO of the company came in to our office and we showed him he asked, “Why would anyone use a butt plug?”
A coworker made the brilliant observation, “Yeah… when did we stop wondering about why anyone would use one and just decide that the concept was funny on its own?
A coworker made the brilliant observation, “Yeah… when did we stop wondering about why anyone would use one and just decide that the concept was funny on its own?
On my lunch break I saw a sign for an online dating service based in the city I now work in.
Single?
CummingSingles.com
Really now.
someone: …the, “Do Everything For Me” button.
someone: I think I know a company that makes it.
me: I like the “Do Everything For Me” button.
me: It’s way better than the “Easy” button.
me: Fuck the “Easy” button.
me: Give me the “It’s completely finished, go to lunch” button.
someone: Why not the, “Live my life to the fullest, so I can go bury myself” button?
me: Doesn’t sound quite as enticing, really.
me: How ’bout the “Go pee for me so I can drink endless amounts of coffee without getting up” button?
someone: Oooh, that’d be good.
someone: Or just the, “Go pee” button.
me: I think you need to add the “for me” to it.
me: Otherwise you might hit the button and have to clean up your desk.
someone: Right.
someone: “What’s this button do?”, “Nooooo!”
someone: ::squirt::
me: Came up with a great band name.
someone: oh yeah?
me: Sideways Vagina
someone: LOL
me: You probably have to be a punk band.
me: But its a good name.
someone: …vertical mouth.
me: Thats just crazy talk
Some people go this way, some people go that way, some people go both ways.
posted on February 13th, 2008 in Adoxography Comments Off
me: The other night as I was falling asleep my mind wandered off into this bizarre riff on the amazingly distorted view Michael Jackson must have of the inner city and gang life…. based solely on his videos
me: Ignoring the video for “Rock With You”
someone: What about the paul mcartney duo?
me: There were a few, and they were fantastic.
someone: Fag.
me: But they don’t say anything about his views on inner city gang life.
me: Beat it,
me: Bad.
someone: Thriller
me: That’s gangs of zombies.
me: Different type of gang.
someone: Exactly.
someone: Just his view
me: You don’t have the Jets, the Sharks, and the fucking Zombies.
