SouthFresh

I do have to say, being in the office hours before anyone else gets here is slightly creepy.

What-was-that-noise?

Note to self: Make sure not to loan out the USB drive named “cocksucker”

someone: The USB cable on that other hard drive sucks.  This one, you can feel the tightness of.
me: That’s what she said.

So apparently when asked at work to investigate why the system shows that there is “Negative Inventory” nobody finds it as funny as I do to mention that maybe it’s just positive inventory moving backwards in time.

I’ve just found the most amazing combination.  Eat some mango, then have some Fat Tire… the burps are interesting.  Seriously, comment back if you’ve tried this.

bearded wonder: What’s worse than drunk texting?
me: Drunk texting while driving and having sex on Lombard Street in San Francisco.
me: Or listening to Creed.
bearded wonder: lol

I’ve got a box of the new Starbucks Via instant coffee.  To put it to the test I used two packages of the Via instant coffee and to top it off I passed on using hot water and hydrated it with freshly brewed coffee.  If I start to vibrate I’ll let you know.

me: I’m doing my best to get Nancy to start liking vampire stories
bearded wonder: She’s not into them?
me: She doesn’t like them because they’re “ugly”
bearded wonder: ahhh.
me: But she likes the stories.
bearded wonder: “Once Bitten.”
me: Once Bitten rocks.
bearded wonder: Yeah, Jim Carry before he went stupid.
me: EXACTLY
bearded wonder: hmmm, ask my sister.
bearded wonder: She’s a huge vampire nut
bearded wonder: She’s read like every Anne Frank book.
me: Anne Frank is the girl from WWII.
bearded wonder: Been to her house, totally got the vibe.
me: The vampire vibe?
me: Ooh. New JJ Abrams movie…. What if Anne Frank was a vampiress?
bearded wonder: And the Nazis were…. the good guys?
me: I invoke Godwin's Law.

I had forgotten to mention the fact that our Mixed Martial Art friend/fan of Rush who got his ass knocked out in 9 seconds must have had a friend who had a match later that same night.

His amazingly inappropriate inspirational introduction music was “In The Air Tonight” by Phil Collins.

Really?  This is your “I’m going to beat your face into a bloody mass” music?  I checked, the drum part that you’re all thinking of doesn’t even happen until 3 minutes and 43 seconds into the song.   WAY longer than the 30 seconds you get as an amateur fighter to get your pussified self to the ring.

And this musically inept fighter was also martially inept.

Remember kids, when you want to inspire people, rile up some energy for your MMA fight DO NOT USE PUSSY MUSIC. That is all.

I highly suggest that when doing your intro for a Mixed Martial Arts match that you don’t choose to use Rush’s “Tom Sawyer” as  your intro music.  You will get the shit kicked out of you -  if not by your opponent, then by any conscious grouping in the audience.

As the contender walked out, strutting to this song I thought to myself, “I hope he gets knocked out just because he chose this song.”   Some times what you ask for does come true.