SouthFresh

Many years from now I expect the History Channel will run “History’s Mysteries: Michael Jackson”

As my desk is situated next to the printer and the fax machine, I’ve become accustomed to having all sorts of random printed and faxed materials deposited on my desk (because I guess I kinda look like a wastebasket). Today some hapless employee bent on abusing company resources to further their home-based business left an ad for their products on my desk. If I were you, I’d think twice before burning in your home, an insense named “Butt Naked”

Me: I just spent 22 minutes with a customer to reactivate and then cancel their account.
Me: FUCKERS.
Coworker: ::breaks their metaphorical knees for you::
Me: Not good enough, I want the real thing.
Me: You can break them…
Me: then unbreak them

Due to the way I am required to word things to the customers I deal with on a daily basis, I am more and more intrigued by the idea of creating a company that only “calls it like I see it” (notice… I, not we). A friend of mine in an architecture class was required to design and build a chair. The chair was promptly destroyed by a man weighing too much. With the company model I’ve been envisioning, my friend’s chair would have a disclaimer on it that said, “Hey, fatty, get a different chair.”

Though just in case someone were insulted, I’d probably have to have a disclaimer about my disclaimers.

Maybe just a matter of pride, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask the bookstore clerk who the author of “Nineteen Eighty Four” was. So I had to stand there and look like I was browsing through their books until I could remember. Damn that fascist bookstore clerk and his probable indignant remarks that he would have made behind my back if I had asked!

I was just made aware, by my coworker, that my takeover of the company I work for has once again started. My supervisor has a white-board she uses to keep track of various things. I caught her erasing everything from it earlier today. She erased all but the words “To Do”, so underneath that I wrote “Erase the white-board”

Yesterday I was fortunate enough to get to experience it, though it turns out that popping bubble wrap with your car just isn’t quite as wonderful.

Its been a long time since the makers of the Chia Pet have released a new cermic “canvas” to use. They should release a collector’s edition Chia David, based on Michelangelo’s work of the same name. It could come with a pamphlet illustrating suggested areas for Chia coverage.

I’ll place this in a better spot later tonight, but for right now this’ll do…

If you would like place a link to my site on yours, I have created a custom graphic you can use:

Word of the day: Malarkey, “insincere, or foolish talk.”

We need to up the usage of this word, so hop to it.