SouthFresh

I don’t know the German language very often, just enough to know that I should be worried when the only word in a song that I understand is “Meat”.

Things I have learned from customers while working for a major Internet Service Provider:

Expired credit cards automatically update themselves without having to inform the company attempting to charge the card.

All problems may be solved easily by use of the well known concept of “Time-Inflationary Ratio of Monetary Renumeration”. In essence, this states that each hour of unsatisfactory service (see entry on “Inverse Intelligence Service Satisfaction Ratio”) is equal to no less than a 24 hour period, which in turn is also equal to no less than a 30 day period, for which monetary renumeration will always be requested.

The customer isn’t always right, but they’re absolutely never wrong.

If you have a PhD., are a lawyer, or are a journalist it is important to tell everyone you meet that you have a PhD., are a lawyer, or are a journalist. Triple bonus points if you have a PhD. in Journalism and sign your name with the suffix, “Esquire”.

More surgeons have drinking problems than you would like to know.

I am completely incompetant.

There is a strong need to for Understanding the Computer Keyboard cirriculum in the public school system. Suggested reading includes, “On, and Off: The Unlikely Story of the lowly Caps Lock Key”

All of my coworkers are completely incompetant.

Even if my company is not the company you have an account with, I must be incorrect in saying that I cannot assist you. After all, I was at the other end of the phone number you dialed, right? (See: Customer is never wrong”)

Nobody in your house looks at porn…
… ever.

The “Inverse Law of Customer/Employee Lie to Mistake Ratio” states that all customer lies are mistakes…. all employee mistakes are lies.

Criss Cross
Applesauce
Spiders crawling up your back
Cool breeze
Tight Squeeze
Now you’ve got the chills

Never does one expect to hear “Supositories!” yelled from across the “great wall of cubical”. Nor does one ever want to hear “Supositories!” yelled from across the “great wall of cubical”.

I’ve been neglecting this site. I apologize.