Self Deprecation Will Set You Free

me: You just made it on my site.
someone: Oh great!
someone: Woohooo!!!
someone: I’m a star!!
me: I could swear I’ve put stuff inspired by you on my site previously.
someone: Oh, really? I feel so special.
me: Please do, the vast majority of my content used to come from idiocy I observed, I’m happier with the lack of idiocy I observe now.
someone: So does that mean I’m not an idiocy, anymore?

coworker: Well, ok…Channel Seth News - CSN, not CNN
me: Film at 11.
coworker: Can you make it 10, cuz I’ll be asleep by then?
me: Film at 10, not at 11 because you’re a Wuss.
me: In other news, you’re a wuss, film at 11

me: Anything interesting happening in the wide wide world of history?
someone: don’t know, it’s monday, I was cut off from the world this weekend
me: Conclave?
someone: no
me: Convex?

me: So you’re not familiar with the “spectacles, testicles, wallet…” saying?
raised catholic: no
me: It’s how to memorize the correct way of doing the cross symbol on one’s self, even this heathen Jew knows that.
raised catholic: and which way is that?
me: Hell if I know, I’m a heathen Jew.

Interesting dream element from last night? A talking dolphin on a motorized four wheel platform that came to visit me at my house.

Not one for Omens, but I found it amusing that when I, in all of my non-religious fervor, borrowed a devout Christian coworker’s car for a coffee run, their worship music tape immediately started getting garbled.

I’ve decided that I would like someone to film a comedy scene in which a marathon runner mistakenly grabs someone’s hot coffee and splashes it on their face. Done right, possible comedic gold. Or possible comedic pocket lint. You be the judge.