SouthFresh

Would someone please tell me how the hell the theme song from Hill Street Blues got into my MP3 Player?

I was recently warned that my direct superior is coming to my location for a visit. So I sent a request to my assistant to clean the office a bit. Of course it would have been better had I sent the message to my assistant instead of doing what really happened and telling my superior to come in to the office and clean it up in expectation of her own arrival..

me: So…. whatcha say we take over the world…. and make everyone enjoy marshmallows?
lunchbox: ooooooooooo i like it
me: And to make it a level playing field, all bicycles will have banana seats.
me: And tassles.
lunchbox: bell?
me: And those plastic beads for spokes that end up just getting stuck next to the tire
lunchbox: basket?
me: White plastic basket with a fake daisy on the front.
lunchbox: sweet
lunchbox: those are my fav

lunchbox: im a sad panda this morning
me: If you really were a panda, don’t you think that being a panda would make it tough to be sad?
lunchbox: hell yeah
lunchbox: especially since there always trying to get em to do it
lunchbox: making em watch panda porn and stuff
me: Given Play Panda… for the articles.

Note to self: With items to be shipped to Denver, Colorado… must resist urge to ship them to “Denver Omelette, Colorado”

Typos are great for when you don’t know what to call a track.

Musings from the other night.

me: I hear Disneyland is getting the presidential turkey
me: And I don’t mean they’re receiving the president
lunchbox: ??
me: Apparently there’s a ridiculous tradition of the president giving some turkey a pardon.
me: Then it goes to a farm
lunchbox: ive never heard of this before
me: PETA says last year the turkey died as soon as it arrived at the farm
me: so this year its going to Disneyland…
me: to die as soon as it gets there.

me: As a premium, they ought to offer french toast that’s been french-toasted and then had its crust cut off.
lunchbox: Can’t you cut it off?
me: I’m part of the instant gratification economy.
lunchbox: obviously
me: I’d feel compelled to eat the crust.
lunchbox: I don’t like crust either
me: It would be staring at me all forlorn, “Don’t you want to eat me too?”
lunchbox: I would spit in that crust’s stupid monkey face

I need a quick laugh, someone please send me a copy of a resumé for someone who’s applying for the job of “Photographer of Cutsie-Woostie Kittens For Calendars”