SouthFresh

Something bothers me about the fact that here in Georgia there is a street with the name “Beaver Ruin”

Ow.

me: Apparently swans don’t like to poo on an incline.
lunchbox: huh?
me: There’re a bunch of swan that chill by a pond near the warehouse. They poo everywhere except on a hill.
lunchbox: hmmm
lunchbox: i guess i wouldnt like to poo on a hill either
me: Why?
lunchbox: you might fall. you could lose your balance and fall in your poo
me: Falling in someone else’s poo would be understandable… but in your own poo? That’s a justifiable reason for suicide.
me: “What happened to Gary? Haven’t seen him in a while.”
“Fell in his own poo. Kept saying he shouldn’t be pooing on the hill.”
“Tough break.”
me: I wonder what swans pour on the curb for their lost homies.
lunchbox: peach juice
me: Carbonated?
lunchbox: no
lunchbox: dont be ridiculous

Produced in 2003 by myself and Nick Shaffer. He’s better known for his dialogue and sound editing skills in the movie industry. We go way back.

Written while experiencing quite a fever.

me: I dreamt I was doing swordplay last night.
lunchbox: sweet
lunchbox: i dreampt i was making out with a panda
lunchbox: not really
me: DAMN!
lunchbox: just trying to shake things up
me: That would have been way cooler than my sword dream

I’ve decided that when I’m the emperor of the universe we’re going to have to set up an “Idea Lost-and-Found.” This would be a centralized repository for all of the things that you were going to do, got up and left the room to do it, but somehow forgot what it was you got up to do. You would also find the ideas you came up with last night while drifting off to sleep, the items that never made it onto the shopping list, and house keys.

me: Scratch ‘n’ sniff computer monitors
me: That would change the online porn industry for sure.
lunchbox: EWWWWWWWWWW
me: I wonder what Google would smell like.
lunchbox: peanuts
me: The food kind, or the packaging kind?
lunchbox: both