SouthFresh

me: I smell like coffee
me: The coffee gods must hate me.
lunchbox: did you spill?
me: My computer smells like coffee
lunchbox: oh jeese
me: No… no spill
me: I spit it out.
me: Like old faithful
lunchbox: ew
me: Like a grand coffee sprinkler
me: Like, there was a fire in creamer land, and the coffee sprinklers came on.
me: And I mean… enough so that coffee splashed back at me from the monitor.
me: I probably have coffee spots on my face
lunchbox: LOL
me: and nobody’s telling me
lunchbox: wow
lunchbox: why did you spit?
lunchbox: did someone make you laugh?
me: I swallowed wrong
lunchbox: ouch
lunchbox: not good with hot coffee
me: You’d think that after 28 years of swallowing, I’d have it down.
me: But no, I have to be the coffee geyser.
me: 65 million years ago, dinosaurs were killed by me accidentally spitting coffee everywhere
lunchbox: you bastard seth

Next time you’re eating asparagus, have a little fun. Do what I do, pretend you’re a giant eating palm trees.

lunchbox: Fine, fine
lunchbox: Have it your way
me: Ok, Burger King
lunchbox: Don’t call me that
me: I thought I got to have it my way.
me: You can’t tell me to have it my way, and then tell me I can’t have it my way.
me: That’s just confusing.
lunchbox: You’re confusing
me: Your mamma’s confusing.
lunchbox: ouch

Only in the United States can one be travelling along a freeway at 80 miles an hour and be passed by a minivan on which the dual “Baby On Board” stickers are momentarily obstructed by the driver having tossed his cigarette out the window.

lunchbox: until just this last thursday I had never had not-cheap steak
lunchbox: I had good t-bone and porter house for the first time
me: Yeah, when its really really good… its really really good.
lunchbox: i had no idea
lunchbox: im totally spoiled now
me: Spoiled, or rancid?
lunchbox: ew
lunchbox: I’m not rancid
lunchbox: you’re rancid
me: I’m rubber, you’re rancid beef, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to your rancid beef.
lunchbox: jerk

In southern Orange County, California, one can stand at the intersection of Antonio and Banderas avenues. This is slightly comedic.

Given a higher mark on the “ew” scale is

Jackson Hole Drive in Blacklick, Ohio.

I witnessed two male geese getting into fisticuffs today. Upon noticing the two geese pugilists holding each other beak-to-beak and battering one another with their wings, the surrounding geese offered encouragment similar to that which would be found in any United States public high school, “Fight! Fight! Fight!”

This continued until the lunch bell rang and everyone had to go to home-room. As I understand both male geese involved in the altercation were heard sayin, “Oh, I totally won.”

– This entry brought to you by the department of “What the fuck? This is entertainment in Georgia?”

lunchbox: much etter
lunchbox: ]better
me: You just can’t win for typing, can you?
lunchbox: never
lunchbox: you should see me at home
lunchbox: We bought an ergonomic key board
lunchbox: not pretty
me: Is it a microsoft one?
lunchbox: dont know
lunchbox: its black
lunchbox: and gergonomicy
lunchbox: …
lunchbox: …crap