Self Deprecation Will Set You Free

someone: boom chicka
someone: chicka chicka
someone: boom
me: …
me: …
me: Boom chicka lacka chicka lacka chicka boom
someone: boom boom chacka lacka bing bang patty wack
me: Give your dog a…
me: boom chicka boom

me: Remember the party we had? Butterscotch Schnapps?
someone: Yup
someone: Where was my girlfriend?
me: You didn’t have one.
someone: Sure, rub it in.
me: I dunno, mine fell asleep hugging a sqaush

Being male, there are times when it is more important to receive an additional five minutes of sleep than to be able to arrive at work in a shirt that isn’t completely wrinkled.

On one such occasion the first thing my girlfriend said to me in the morning was, “So did you just get here from having your shirt chewed on by a cow?”

someone: that settles it
me: Settles what?
someone: If i could pick anyways to die…
someone: It’d be to be eaten by a Megalodon
me: I’ll go for Threesome.
someone: That takes a distant second.
me: I’ll admit there’s no comparing it to how fun it would be to be eaten by an extinct animal, but I’m a simple man.

[http://www.southfresh.org/wp-content/whapwhap_2.mp3]

Just a note to those of you out there drinking coffee.  Pay attention when you’re adding sugar, if you start to see the level of the coffee rise due to the amount of sugar you’re pouring in… probably a little much.

Then again, maybe you’re going for that coffee/sugar rotted toothless look.  I hear its coming back in style.

me: Damnit…. I can’t find a picture of the fucking beetle.
me: Though there are plenty of pictures of beetles fucking
someone: LOL
someone: that doesn’t make them any cuter, does it?
me: Not unless they’re ladybugs.
me: Because thats like lesbian beetle sex