Self Deprecation Will Set You Free

On my other blog I have Google AdSense attempting to work some mojo on my my wallet.  For a few days there was an advertisement for Soup…. to get on eBay.

Who buys soup on eBay?

someone: What’d you eat for lunch?
someone: I’m lookin’ for ideas.
me: Catfish sammich.
someone: ORLY?
someone: im going to have a hard time picking up one of those unless I cruise to the local golf course with a rod and reel.
me: But it doesn’t really count as a sammich.
me: I ate the bread first.
me: then the catfisth.
someone: Kosher.
me: Not Kosher.
me: No scales.
someone: I know.
someone: Is it Kosher to eat cheese if you pull it off the meat and eat it seperately?
me: Nope.
me: After you eat meat you’re not supposed to have any dair products for something like 7 hours.
me: After dairy, 4 before meat.
someone: 7 hours…
someone: Why not 6.5?
someone: That sounds like Gremlins.
someone: What if you feed gizmo at 10pm as your traveling across time zones?
me: Then he becomes half & half…
me: …and is appropriate to mix with coffee.
someone: mmmm Gizmo and cream.
me: Its in the party-pack of Quaker Instant Oatmeals
me: Peaches & Cream, Blueberries & Cream, Mogwai & Cream, Plain
someone: hah
me: They always have to screw you over with Plain.
me: Who eats “Plain” flavor?
someone: It’s kind of like pulling the meat out of a sandwich and eating them seperately.
me: You’re a fucker.

Ignoring, for the moment, the definite expansion of the universe (read my weight), is there really anything wrong with having chocolate chip cookies for dinner?

Hi Boss,

I just wanted to make sure that the since your modifying the security cameras that they are set up to get my good profile.   I don’t want to have my bad profile on tape, it might hurt my chances of becoming a reality television star.

Thanks,

Seth

Yeah, but I had to do it anyway.

me: I was reading on Transfinite Arithmetic last night.
me: I was also wearing a pocket protector…
me: …glasses with a bandaid over the bridge
me: Such is the life of a nerd.
someone: some may call it nerdy i think you’re well rounded.
me: Yet I still don’t like opera.
someone: You’re in the clear.
someone: So what did you get out of the Transfinite?
me: Some infinities are bigger than others.
me: Some infinites mothers are bigger than other infinities mothers.
me: Now I feel dirty for having combined both abstract mathematical concepts with The Smiths