Self Deprecation Will Set You Free

Whoever said that there’s nothing intelligent on the internet obviously hasn’t visited youtube.

me: Are you at work, or playing Madden 2008?
someone: No madden for me
me: I just beat the shit out of a 9 year old and stole his copy.
someone: And you dont even like football
me: Not really.
me: But I’m a big fan of beating the shit out of 9 year olds
someone: SMACK

me: If you were a piece of bacon, what would your bullets be made out of?
someone: What?
me: Did I stutter?
someone: Bacon who?
me: Bacon, you know, bacon.
me: Rear portion of a pig.
someone: I know I was waiting for the punchline
me: Not a joke
me: Seriously.
me: Imagine you’re a slice of bacon.
me: What would your bullets be made of?
someone: They’d be made out of bullets.
me: If you were a heroic piece of bacon fighting evil…
someone: Aaah
someone: Well, since you put it that way…
me: So as a piece of bacon, what would your bullets be made of?
me: And you’re not allowed to say Jewish People.

someone: See, I agree with both coasts
someone: I would like to have a little of both
me: Move to Wisconsin then!
someone: i do like cheese
me: Eat some cheese and never poo again!
me: See if I care!
someone: you’ll care…. just wait

me: You suck at this game
someone: Yeah, I gave up
someone: Can’t taype, can’t think
me: BWAHAHAHAHA
me: Indeed
someone: Indeed

someone: ..I’ll tell you who farted.
me: Our Jewish coworker?
someone: Our Jewish coworker shit his pants.
someone: I’m gaggin’ over here.
someone: It came through the wall
someone: He rips one, and its in front of my desk.
someone: How does he do it?
me: Magical Jewish Ass Powers
me: Crapballah
me: Jewish Proctological Mysticism