More Vaginal Speculum Ma!
someone: My work does not want to let me go to the drugstore
me: awwww poor you.
someone: They wish I would move in and never leave.
me: Don’t you work for a medical supply company?
someone: Yeah.
me: Can’t you just steal some medical supplies?
someone: Uh…
someone: Would you like a vaginal speculum?
someone: …with or without light source?
me: No thanks I’ve eaten already