Not another top x somethingerother!
Though I rarely say much about the world beyond what I can easily fondle, recently a top bazillion questions scientists are yet to answer has been making the rounds. Here is my take on the top 25:
What Is the Universe Made Of?
Marshmallow Cream
What is the Biological Basis of Consciousness?
Marshmallow Cream
Why Do Humans Have So Few Genes?
At $50.00 a pop for good ones, who can be bothered to get more?
To What Extent Are Genetic Variation and Personal Health Linked?
Ask Personal health about it’s problems with the police in Santa Monica, California and “Glory Holes”
Can the Laws of Physics Be Unified?
The key word here is “Compromise”
How Much Can Human Life Span Be Extended?
Just long enough to figure out how many licks it REALLY takes to get to the center of a tootsiepop.
What Controls Organ Regeneration?
That’s all based on how many generations removed from Cain you are, and how many bloodpoints you’re willing to spend.
How Can a Skin Cell Become a Nerve Cell?
Through meditation and a strict vegetarian diet.
How Does a Single Somatic Cell Become a Whole Plant?
Is this the Psycho-Somatic-Addict-Insane kind?
How Does Earth’s Interior Work?
It’s a steam engine.
Are We Alone in the Universe?
I don’t know about you, but there are plenty of people just in my office.
How and Where Did Life on Earth Arise?
Marshmallow cream and New Jersey respectively.
What Determines Species Diversity?
Affirmitive Action
What Genetic Changes Made Us Uniquely Human?
You mean, uniquely human just like all the other humans?
How Are Memories Stored and Retrieved?
8-inch floppy discs and drives.
How Did Cooperative Behavior Evolve?
Its difficult to have war if you don’t have a common enemy.
How Will Big Pictures Emerge from a Sea of Biological Data?
You have to stare just past the data, relax your eyes, then you’ll see the sailboat.
How Far Can We Push Chemical Self-Assembly?
Just to the edge, otherwise it may fall off.
What Are the Limits of Conventional Computing?
Massive Multiplayer Online Games, ’nuff said.
Can We Selectively Shut Off Immune Responses?
Only if 30 days advance notice is given, and filed in triplicate.
Do Deeper Principles Underlie Quantum Uncertainty and Nonlocality?
No.
Is an Effective HIV Vaccine Feasible?
Why bother when we have so many ineffective ones?
How Hot Will the Greenhouse World Be?
Ask Buster Poindexter
What Can Replace Cheap Oil — and When?
Expensive oil, right now.
Will Malthus Continue to Be Wrong?
Only as long as he doesn’t realize that Harry Potter is a guy worth hanging out with.