Poker
Poker Night is this friday. Effectively we’re replacing “sit around, drink, and play video games” with “Sit around, drink, and play games you can lose money at”. As I’ve never played poker for anything other than jelly beans or Eminems, “I’ll raise two Slim Shady’s”, I assume this will be somewhat similar to me handing friends money (my money) without all the mysterious playing-card transactions getting in the way.
There’s a bit of semi-outlaw mystique associated with playing poker (there’s also the balding, elderly man with a drinking problem and a penchant for smelly cigars mystique). With the semi-outlaw mystique in mind, I’ve been entertaining the same thing that everyone who’s ever seen the movie Rounders has entertained (that doesn’t involve any sexual encounters with Edward Norton or the other guy… John Turturro) – namely, becoming a professional poker player.
Upon doing some research on how to play poker without having buttons to say which cards I would like to “Hold”, I found that I know absolutely nothing about the game and found that many of the terms used in poker can be either associated to money or prostitution. I also found that to become a professional poker player I have to be either over-weight or fashion a handlebar mustache (both which may make prostitution a necessity). Oddly, both the mustache and the weight problem require much less attention than actually playing poker does.
Being overweight and having outdated facial hair is bad enough, but the resume may take some damage by having “Overweight Poker Player with Outdated Facial Hair” placed below “I chat with people on the internet and get paid, don’t you wish you had this job?”