SouthFresh

bearded wonder: Are eggs ok to cook if they’re a bit frozen?
me: I would suggest waiting for them to thaw
me: You may end up with weirdness in the cooking process…
bearded wonder: shit, I cracked one and an egg slushy fell out.
me: …unless you’re planning to scramble/omelet
bearded wonder: It will be an omelet.
me: This begs the question….
me: Why are your eggs frozen?
me: Are you doing invitro fertilization of poultry?
bearded wonder: LOL
bearded wonder: Just bought them from Trader Joes
bearded wonder: guess the fridge is too cold
bearded wonder: or
bearded wonder: they just came out of the truck
me: I would take them back.
me: Most eggs come out of a chicken.
me: I don’t know how good a truck-egg-omelet is going to be.

bearded wonder: The taxes scramble ahhh
me: Taxes scramble?
bearded wonder: Yeah, I meat with tax man in a couple hours.
bearded wonder: I sausage the landlord afterwards.
me: How much of a steak do you have in the meating?
bearded wonder: Well done.
me: It’s rare.
bearded wonder: I’ve been smoked.
me: Well that’s mutton new.

bearded wonder: What’s worse than drunk texting?
me: Drunk texting while driving and having sex on Lombard Street in San Francisco.
me: Or listening to Creed.
bearded wonder: lol

me: I’m doing my best to get Nancy to start liking vampire stories
bearded wonder: She’s not into them?
me: She doesn’t like them because they’re “ugly”
bearded wonder: ahhh.
me: But she likes the stories.
bearded wonder: “Once Bitten.”
me: Once Bitten rocks.
bearded wonder: Yeah, Jim Carry before he went stupid.
me: EXACTLY
bearded wonder: hmmm, ask my sister.
bearded wonder: She’s a huge vampire nut
bearded wonder: She’s read like every Anne Frank book.
me: Anne Frank is the girl from WWII.
bearded wonder: Been to her house, totally got the vibe.
me: The vampire vibe?
me: Ooh. New JJ Abrams movie…. What if Anne Frank was a vampiress?
bearded wonder: And the Nazis were…. the good guys?
me: I invoke Godwin's Law.

bearded wonder: Guitar vibratos are way easier to do with my right hand, so much more coordination.
bearded wonder: Maybe cause it uses more wrist and arm
bearded wonder: I’ll never be good at vibratos on my left hand
bearded wonder: But the point is, I try it right handed and it’s perfect
me: I’ve never had a problem…. or I totally suck and don’t know it.
bearded wonder: Do you jerk off lefty?
me: Only after the right one gets tired.
bearded wonder: see?
bearded wonder: I can’t even do that
me: lol
me: Go break your right wrist.
me: You’ll learn how really fast
bearded wonder: lol
bearded wonder: ouch
bearded wonder: hmm
bearded wonder: maybe then the trick to improving my left hand is to only masturbate left handed
me: Or to have a broken right wrist.
me: Maybe that was the only reason I can do vibrato with my left hand.
bearded wonder: I prefer gain without pain.
me: Thats because you’re a pussy.
me: I broke my arm for my guitaring.
me: What have YOU done?
bearded wonder: You got your ass kicked,
bearded wonder: don’t lie.
me: No, actually I fell.
me: Now I sound like a battered wife.
me: I wonder if battered wives can do good vibrato
bearded wonder: lol
me: Or maybe you should get a battered wife to jerk you off left handed
bearded wonder: Hmm, battered wife aint a bad idea.
me: I’m trying to avoid a reference to a corndog here.
bearded wonder: And I’ll avoid understanding it
me: …
me: …
me: batter

me: I had a really strange and intense set of dreams about super heroes.
me: In my dream, one of the super heroes tried to make me into a hero by chopping off half my thumb and attaching a crab’s claw to it.
me: Ok, that sounds a lot weirder typed out than it does in my head
bearded wonder: That’s a shitty hero, man.
bearded wonder: Crab-hand man
bearded wonder: could be a fun cartoon character
me: “So, what’s your super power?”
“I can create buttery dipping sauce.”
me: “And some people are alergic to me.”
bearded wonder: It’s like an even bigger loser version of Edward Scissor Hands
me: Edmund Crabby Thumb.
bearded wonder: lol
bearded wonder: Ew
bearded wonder: Partner of Tammy Stinky Pinky

me: public function nick(){ trace(“Fuck you anyway”)};
me: heheh
beardedwonder: nick();
me: LOL
beardedwonder: lol
beardedwonder: I’m gonna sell that photo of your hand at the garage sale
me: WHAT?
beardedwonder: lol
me: nick();
beardedwonder: this.nick();
beardedwonder: sethsFace.nick();
me: this.lol = function(trace(“LOL
me: Damnit, hit enter before I was done.
me: And we’re fucking nerds.
beardedwonder: LOL
beardedwonder: 2wf
me: 2fw();

bearded wonder: I saw the movie “I love you man”
bearded wonder: I liked it.
me: I want to see it.
bearded wonder: It wasn’t the slapstick shit everyone loves these days.
bearded wonder: Great date movie though.
bearded wonder: I went with my parents, cause I’m fucking lame.
me: Did you try the yawn move on your mom?
bearded wonder: Take a step back buddy
me: I’m just sayin’

bearded wonder: This sucks, I hate when I’ve recorded a song I made up and I can’t figure out how to play it again.
bearded wonder: I do crazy fingerpicking acoustic songs, then have to decode them.
me: Don’t forget your ovaltine
bearded wonder: lol
bearded wonder: clever

bearded wonder: everytime mum comes on I feel like it’’s the first time, love that fucking band
me: mum
bearded wonder: yup, that’’s what i said
me: that sounded really odd until I got to the part about it being a band
bearded wonder: lol
bearded wonder: I was testing how high your retard levels were set to