Self Deprecation Will Set You Free http://www.southfresh.org The Gospel According to Seth Sat, 19 Jul 2008 19:40:46 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 en Reuse Reduce Recycle http://www.southfresh.org/2008/07/19/reuse-reduce-recycle/ http://www.southfresh.org/2008/07/19/reuse-reduce-recycle/#comments Sat, 19 Jul 2008 19:38:47 +0000 Seth http://www.southfresh.org/?p=590 While going through my rss feeds on Google Reader I came across this. I don’t think it’s exactly what they meant though:
Reuse

]]> http://www.southfresh.org/2008/07/19/reuse-reduce-recycle/feed/ Love Hurts http://www.southfresh.org/2008/07/19/love-hurts/ http://www.southfresh.org/2008/07/19/love-hurts/#comments Sat, 19 Jul 2008 17:58:38 +0000 Seth http://www.southfresh.org/?p=589 beardless wonder: Man, why does the Starbucks chic have to be so cruel?
beardless wonder: And why do I have to be so damn attracted to her?
beardless wonder: I love her attitude.
beardless wonder: But it hurts.
me says: Love hurts.
me says: Love grows.
me says: Like cancer.
me says: Cancer hurts.
me says: And both will make you go bald.
beardless wonder: lol.

]]> http://www.southfresh.org/2008/07/19/love-hurts/feed/ The Father, The Son, And the Holy Bear http://www.southfresh.org/2008/07/09/the-father-the-son-and-the-holy-bear/ http://www.southfresh.org/2008/07/09/the-father-the-son-and-the-holy-bear/#comments Thu, 10 Jul 2008 02:06:03 +0000 Seth http://www.southfresh.org/?p=587 me: I think a church local to my work worships a koala bear.
someone: uh what?
me: I think a local church secretly worships a koala bear.
someone: How do you know this?
someone: …or think it?
me: I was getting some local directions from Google Maps and saw this:


someone: LOL
someone: Hey… Koala bears are pretty awesome?
someone: And that’s a huge church compound.
me: And the bear looks PISSED.
someone: LOL
someone: He does look a bit evil.
someone: Cuddly but will kill you in a heartbeat.
me: I ATE EUCALYPTUS LEAVES FOR YOUR SINS FUCKERS!
someone: ROFL
someone: I’m dying right now.
someone: So you should pay a little more attention to this place.
someone: See what they’re all about.
me: They’re all about Jesus dying on a eucalyptus tree.
me: And being reincarnated as a snuggly marsupial.
someone: I think that’s a nice idea.
someone: I would cuddle with Koala-Jesus .
me: We need t-shirts:
me: “Real men cuddle with koala jesus”
someone: LOL

]]> http://www.southfresh.org/2008/07/09/the-father-the-son-and-the-holy-bear/feed/ Two Birds, One Stone http://www.southfresh.org/2008/07/09/two-birds-one-stone/ http://www.southfresh.org/2008/07/09/two-birds-one-stone/#comments Wed, 09 Jul 2008 18:43:51 +0000 Seth http://www.southfresh.org/2008/07/09/two-birds-one-stone/ me: …2 birds, one stone
me: I used the full version of that metaphor with my girlfriend not long after we met.
me: “That’s a stupid metaphor.” She says
me: “Why?”
me: “In Spanish it’s two flies with one swat… that makes much more sense.. Who kills a bird with a stone?”
bearded wonder: lol
me: 1 point to the hot Latina.
bearded wonder: Americans are talented mother fuckers
me: LOL
me: 1 point to the bearded wonder.
bearded wonder: LOL

]]> http://www.southfresh.org/2008/07/09/two-birds-one-stone/feed/ Things not to do at that new job http://www.southfresh.org/2008/07/08/things-not-to-do-at-that-new-job/ http://www.southfresh.org/2008/07/08/things-not-to-do-at-that-new-job/#comments Tue, 08 Jul 2008 14:37:25 +0000 Seth http://www.southfresh.org/?p=585 Things not to do at your new job #261:

When turning in that first written report, do not include the word, “dicksnap.”

]]> http://www.southfresh.org/2008/07/08/things-not-to-do-at-that-new-job/feed/ Dyxselia http://www.southfresh.org/2008/06/16/dyxselia-2/ http://www.southfresh.org/2008/06/16/dyxselia-2/#comments Mon, 16 Jun 2008 12:47:17 +0000 Seth http://www.southfresh.org/2008/06/16/dyxselia-2/ I suggest we change the word Dyslexia into a palindrome, to reduce confusion.

]]> http://www.southfresh.org/2008/06/16/dyxselia-2/feed/ Sitting in a tree http://www.southfresh.org/2008/06/10/sitting-in-a-tree/ http://www.southfresh.org/2008/06/10/sitting-in-a-tree/#comments Tue, 10 Jun 2008 20:11:57 +0000 Seth http://www.southfresh.org/2008/06/10/sitting-in-a-tree/ someone: I’m taking a break to look at wedding dresses. Quite frankly, they suck.
me: Getting married?
someone: Yep.
me: Me too.
someone: So what kind of suit are you wearing?
me: Preferably a tux.
me: With tails,
me: a sword,
me: two dragons,
me: and a pro wrestler.
someone: I can’t get away with a sword.
someone: I also have been told not to dress like Lydia during the wedding scene in Beetlejuice.
me: By who?
me: Who’s wedding is it?
me: Isn’t it YOUR wedding?
someone: Well, the groom said no because he didn’t want to dress up like Beetlejuice. I told him that he didn’t have to.
someone: Oh - and no ninjas. I’ve asked.
me: That sucks.
me: Ninjas are underrated.
someone: I know! Ninjas are great!

]]> http://www.southfresh.org/2008/06/10/sitting-in-a-tree/feed/ Master of the Loonyverse http://www.southfresh.org/2008/05/27/master-of-the-loonyverse/ http://www.southfresh.org/2008/05/27/master-of-the-loonyverse/#comments Tue, 27 May 2008 13:06:50 +0000 Seth http://www.southfresh.org/?p=581 Once again I find myself magically humming the theme song from the old cartoon, “He-Man and the Masters of the Universe”

How does this happen?

]]> http://www.southfresh.org/2008/05/27/master-of-the-loonyverse/feed/ Butt Plug http://www.southfresh.org/2008/05/23/butt-plug/ http://www.southfresh.org/2008/05/23/butt-plug/#comments Fri, 23 May 2008 18:39:35 +0000 Seth http://www.southfresh.org/2008/05/23/butt-plug/ So today this video was being sent around the office. I remember hearing this on the radio years ago. When the CEO of the company came in to our office and we showed him he asked, “Why would anyone use a butt plug?”
A coworker made the brilliant observation, “Yeah… when did we stop wondering about why anyone would use one and just decide that the concept was funny on its own? ]]> http://www.southfresh.org/2008/05/23/butt-plug/feed/ Dicktion http://www.southfresh.org/2008/04/30/dicktion/ http://www.southfresh.org/2008/04/30/dicktion/#comments Wed, 30 Apr 2008 17:21:33 +0000 Seth http://www.southfresh.org/?p=579 On my lunch break I saw a sign for an online dating service based in the city I now work in.

Single?
CummingSingles.com

Really now.

]]> http://www.southfresh.org/2008/04/30/dicktion/feed/