someone: …the, “Do Everything For Me” button.
someone: I think I know a company that makes it.
me: I like the “Do Everything For Me” button.
me: It’s way better than the “Easy” button.
me: Fuck the “Easy” button.
me: Give me the “It’s completely finished, go to lunch” button.
someone: Why not the, “Live my life to the fullest, so I can go bury myself” button?
me: Doesn’t sound quite as enticing, really.
me: How ’bout the “Go pee for me so I can drink endless amounts of coffee without getting up” button?
someone: Oooh, that’d be good.
someone: Or just the, “Go pee” button.
me: I think you need to add the “for me” to it.
me: Otherwise you might hit the button and have to clean up your desk.
someone: Right.
someone: “What’s this button do?”, “Nooooo!”
someone: ::squirt::
me: Came up with a great band name.
someone: oh yeah?
me: Sideways Vagina
someone: LOL
me: You probably have to be a punk band.
me: But its a good name.
someone: …vertical mouth.
me: Thats just crazy talk
Some people go this way, some people go that way, some people go both ways.
posted on February 13th, 2008 in Adoxography Comments Off
me: The other night as I was falling asleep my mind wandered off into this bizarre riff on the amazingly distorted view Michael Jackson must have of the inner city and gang life…. based solely on his videos
me: Ignoring the video for “Rock With You”
someone: What about the paul mcartney duo?
me: There were a few, and they were fantastic.
someone: Fag.
me: But they don’t say anything about his views on inner city gang life.
me: Beat it,
me: Bad.
someone: Thriller
me: That’s gangs of zombies.
me: Different type of gang.
someone: Exactly.
someone: Just his view
me: You don’t have the Jets, the Sharks, and the fucking Zombies.
me you have just sent a nudge.
someone someone just sent you a nudge.
me you have just sent a nudge.
someone someone just sent you a nudge.
me you have just sent a nudge.
someone someone just sent you a nudge.
me you have just sent a nudge.
someone someone just sent you a nudge.
me you have just sent a nudge.
someone someone just sent you a nudge.
me you have just sent a nudge.
someone: An impala would be great for you.
someone: You could live in the trunk!
me: Not without air conditioning it wouldn’t.
someone: I bet you could get a good airflow going in that thing
me: Trust me, with the humid heat out here, that wouldn’t help
someone: Ew, humidity.
me: Just be like spraying yourself with hot pee
someone: LOL
someone: That’s my favorite feeling
me: I think “eyeballs” is a drastically underused comedic term
someone: it is a good word
me: Which is more funny?….
me: Why’d the chicken cross the road?
me: To get to the other side
me: Or
me: Why’d the chicken cross the road?
me: EYEBALLS
someone: Actuallly
someone: It’s kind of funny when you add “balls” to the end of all sorts of words
someone: Like fuckballs
someone: Snotballs
someone: Assballs
me: Ballsballs
someone: lol
someone: Wow
someone: We are classy
me: ::burp::
