Self Deprecation Will Set You Free

When outside what is normally referred to as “The South” you hear about the “Big Skeeters” and other large bugs.  I come here today to bring you news that these are not lies.  These are all the truth.

I just saw a cockroach with mudflaps.

And the mudflaps had the confederate flag on them.

Ok, not really, but it was a big cockroach.

Hrmm, wrong way? Good thing I know how to read. Might be handy if the guys who set this up could.

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This is just a sad reminder of the fact that I’m not at home, where within a 5 mile radius of my house I can count no fewer than 9 Starbucks. To reiterate, nearly 10% of the celebrated 100 stores are within walking distance of my last house. Then again, its been over six months since I left home so its quite possible that there are now over 100 stores within 5 miles of my last house. They tend to breed.

Food.

I’ve been enormously spoiled (maybe a bad choice in words when speaking of food) by having lived the major portion of my life in California. California, being geographically positioned within walking distance of every other place on the face of the world has a fantastic array of restaurants, eateries, bistros, diners and greasy spoons serving just about any type of food one could desire as well as some questionable delicasies one might not (think: chicken sushi). |inline

I could say that only in Georgia might I have expected this, but since I was completely dumbfounded by the site, and having been in Georgia at the time it appears that I couldn’t have expected it here either but a Ford Taurus with Bull Horns mounted on the grill?

Moo.

Maybe I’m just spoiled with the give-aways and prizes offered by companies in California to places like Cancun, Hawaii, even Baja California, makes the prospect of entering a contest out here in Georgia for a week long trip in Idaho not that exciting.

Idaho?

Its sad enough if you end up a prostitute. Its even worse when your chosen corner is right outside a Waffle House.

A Waffle House.

You’re a prostitute and you stand in front of a place that sells this:

First I get e-mails advertising viagra, cialis, and now this?

Only in the United States can one be travelling along a freeway at 80 miles an hour and be passed by a minivan on which the dual “Baby On Board” stickers are momentarily obstructed by the driver having tossed his cigarette out the window.

I witnessed two male geese getting into fisticuffs today. Upon noticing the two geese pugilists holding each other beak-to-beak and battering one another with their wings, the surrounding geese offered encouragment similar to that which would be found in any United States public high school, “Fight! Fight! Fight!”

This continued until the lunch bell rang and everyone had to go to home-room. As I understand both male geese involved in the altercation were heard sayin, “Oh, I totally won.”

– This entry brought to you by the department of “What the fuck? This is entertainment in Georgia?”