Self Deprecation Will Set You Free

On my lunch break I saw a sign for an online dating service based in the city I now work in.

Single?
CummingSingles.com

Really now.

My workplace is having a Christmas lunch, of sorts, for the employees. We were recently informed, well after catering had been settled, that our Orthodox Jew owner does not want there to be any pork products involved (or something to that effect).

Being Jew-ish myself I still find this ridiculous. The lunch is for the employees, the owner won’t be there, and if I recall correctly pork in any of its various incarnations has been quite the traditional Christmas culinary standard. Baked Ham, Glazed Ham, Baked Glazed Ham, Carnitas, Carnie Wilson, Pork Rinds, Pork Soda, Pulled Pork, Stretched Pork, Mildly Massaged Pork, and who could forget Spam? These should be there. We should be having full servings of pork with a side of pork, and pork napkins.

But the boss? “Merry Christmas, eat a fucking latke.”